In Witch I Express Distaste For A Thing People Like - THE WITCHER

PREFACE: I swear, I actually really like video games. I do. I play them because they are fun and I enjoy them. It is just an unfortunate coincidence that the bottom of my Steam games list has been largely games that I do not enjoy because they are terrible.

Today's update is something a little different. Instead of reading about how I didn't like the Witcher, you get to watch and listen to me not liking the Witcher. It's a Christmas miracle!

Watch me in HD so you can really appreciate the graphics that look like they're from 1998!

SPECIAL DIRECTOR Q&A:

That video is really long and I don't want to watch it. Is there a small portion that I can watch to get the gist?

If you watch for one minute starting at about 41:45 you'll get a pretty good idea of what's going on.

PS: If you don't watch the whole thing, you're dead to me. Also, you AND your +1 will be removed from the admission list for my birthday party. I'm tracking your IP address and I know who you are.

Will there be a part 2? If so, will it be more or less boring?

There will probably be a part 2. Despite all my complaining, I am not going to give up on the game completely because of a bad tutorial area. I may wise up and omit the boring parts instead of trying to cover them with witty soliloquy to make it shorter, though.

What is the name of that piano piece?

Hell if I know!

Your voice is so masculine and beautiful that I want to marry you. Where should I send my proposal?
EDIT: I am no longer accepting proposals. Some of them were really gross. You guys are sick.