Once upon a time, on the outskirts of the small hamlet of Detroit, there lived a boy named SB. SB was pure, noble, and beloved by all, but he could be said to have one great flaw: poor impulse control. (If he could have been said to have a second, it would be his overwhelming modesty.)

One day, while scouring the vast fields of the interweb for data, intrepid SB happened upon a merchant with a great storefront overflowing with wares. The merchant introduced himself as Steam, and said that he could satisfy SB's every whim and urge. After a few very uncomfortable inquiries, Steam clarified that he really only meant whims and urges related to video games.
Every day SB returned to Steam's market, and while the offerings were often obscure or bizarre, Steam's technique and salesmanship were unmatched.
"I don't even know what that is," SB would say in response to Steam's latest proferrence.
"Ah, but do you need to know what it is... when it's EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT OFF?" Steam would reply, eyes shining with a bizarre mixture of altruism and naked avarice.
"Uh, no, I guess not." And with that, SB would bring forth his $1.70 and the exchange would be made.

Many months later, SB was displaying his grand collection of video games to a visiting noble who was also something cool and fantasy-appropriate like maybe a dragon or a grell.
"Ah, very impressive!" Quoth the noble. "Which of them are good?"
SB surveyed his treasures and hesitated. "Well...." To his horror, he realized that he had actually played only a quarter of them! Caught with the virtual pages of his books uncut like some sort of low-rent Gatsby--not even a great one!--he was mortified. He resolved never to be so embarrassed again.

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The above is all true, except for the fact that I have never had a conversation with a grell. Steam offers me games at absurd prices and I think "Why, I'd be a fool not to buy that!" and then I purchase it but never play it. A conversation with a friend brought me to the very realization mentioned above, and I decided that the time had come to finally play all the games on which I've spent so much (little) money. This justifies the purchases and, of course, gives me solid rationale for further such purchases in the future, but that simply EXTENDS THE LIFE OF MY BLOG. It's a win-win!
... for Steam.

So, read along as I blunder through my slowly swelling Steam games list and attempt to chronicle my journey towards some kind of video game enlightenment.


SB Plays It Eventually FAQ:
Q: What exactly will you be writing?
A: Long-form beat poetry with accompanying Youtube videos of me performing interpretive dance.
No, I probably won't be doing much of that. Probably. I'll just try to write a little something insightful, humorous, or crummy about each of the games that I play. I expect that the amount will vary somewhat based on how much time I spend with the game.

Q: What constitutes "playing" the game?
A: Enough play to get a legitimate idea of what the game is about. I don't necessarily have to beat it, but I do have to make a good faith effort to "get" the game unless it is frustrating garbage like Zen Bound 2.
Uh, spoiler alert, I guess. I didn't like Zen Bound 2 very much.

Q: Why blog about this at all? It sounds really boring.
A: Well, that hurts my feelings.

Q: Will there be any particular order to your play?
A: Reverse alphabetical, because that is what the coin flip decided. I will play things out of reverse-alpha order occasionally (to play a game before its sequel, for instance). Games I buy during the journey will be added in arbitrarily according to the results of a star chart consultation and a series of more complicated coin flips.